william update...

He is still handsome. and how! Sadly his summerhouse has been eaten by THE PERVERT. Also Magpies broke into their food store and made a mess. William was too handsome for manual labour (though he does sometimes play the construction worker in order to give guinea-lady office workers a giddy thrill), THE PERVERT was too debauched to be trusted with implements of any kind. So I had to sweep it up with no help at all. Sometimes I wish my guinea pigs were less amusing and more helpful. William's little claw is almost falling off. It is handsome and disgusting, like the cabana boy sisyphus wishes he could turn William into through manipulation and flattery. Oh THE PERVERT, will you ever learn?

be careful what you wish for..

spurned by the society that once lauded him, an elderly gentleman takes in a handsome young urchin, only to find himself crippled by a murderous jealousy and a twisted passion that dare not wheep its name. Sisyphus Sullivan is......THE PERVERT.

thrill at the voyeur's warped desires!

gasp at the unspeakable things that take place behind castle walls!

THE PERVERT...

the dark prince of a debauched realm, literally caging youth and beauty to fulfill his own disturbing needs.

lacing hay with opiates obtained from unscrupulous orientals.

giving said hay to the handsomest of victims in hopes of sodomy.

forgetting the hay was laced and eating it himself.

using the leftover hay in troubling and ingenious ways.

THE PERVERT...

will stop at nothing to attain what he most desires: youth, vigour and a very small popcorn box with a hole in it.

COMING SOON (heh heh heh)

Big Willie Style

Some call him a handsome oaf, others a beautiful fool.

He is as aesthetically pleasing as a fresh chrysanthemum in a dandy's buttonhole, and almost as intelligent.

Though the fates have seen fit to cripple his small and handsome toe, he remains undaunted and almost alarmingly handsome.

His whiskers white, his jowls firm, his bottom enormous, his scuttle across the floor athletic and intent, with a quietly handsome desperation.

His melodious voice surpasses even the once famous guinea-pig tenor, Pigannucci with whom he studied briefly. Pigannucci never forgot William, and gave up making even the most necessary of sounds after hearing William's tuneful wheeping. He later killed himself because William snubbed him at a party, having forgotten who he was while intently pursuing a plate of brocoli.

Ah, William, sweet, noble, incredibly beautiful William. May his reign be long and handsome, whether he reside in Castle Von Guinea, the illustrious home he purchased after the little red castle inherited from his forefathers was cruelly snatched by an unscrupulous landlord, or in his summer house, a bag that used to have pick and mix in it but does not have any pick and mix in it anymore.

There is no doubt at all that wherever William lives, he need only hang his tiny hat for it to be dubbed 'the people's republic of FABULOUS.'

As soft as a feather bed, as smooth as a polished stone, as fat as a pre-depression era plutocrat and twelve times more handsome than the face of a benevolent God:Ladies and gentlemen, I give you William Butler Yeats II!!!!

did someone say handsome?

because someone is bringing it...I have lost my camera, but when I find it there will be 100% more william. Sisyphus is currently on protein shakes, but you can't gain what william's got. nuh-uh.

stuff..

I graduated.

I read books.

I played scrabble twice.

I saw Harry Brown.

I talked about the flawed morality in Harry Brown.

I did a comedy cockney accent.

I bought books: Present indicative(Noel. It had a new york times obit from the fifties in it also!!), Disturbing the peace, young hearts crying, (mad men withdrawl may kick in soon, I want to be ready) boy heaven (read on bus home- only okay but some of it stuck with me), and briar rose (because Margo Lanagan revived my fairy tales retold obsession)

Also, found a copy of the house of mirth volume one from 1906 in Enable and bought it for seven fifty. It is lovely and special and partially stuck together with some sort of masking tape thing and I look at it wonderingly not believing that it is mine cannot afford to develop a properly old old book habit right now...UNLESS...)

I was in a podcast and it has been edited and deemed fitting. It's on itunes and everything.

I am reading Ben Goldacre and laughing while quoting bits at the mother, who spent 40 euro on a jar of expensive honey to kill all ailments. It has been shown to be effective in some cases, but a forty euro jar of honey will never not be as daft as a sack of dwarf hamsters. She has also taken to chewing raw cloves of garlic, presumably to ward off the undead. or the un-dad (handsome suitors who call to the door, and swish their feathery hair in a way that lingers like a promise after they have gone). one or the other.

but none of it matters because william has broken his toes...there was an incident on sunday with my wee small cousin and my wee-er, smaller, infinitely more fragile and handsome william. He has a plaster on and is all nestly and invalidish and handsome. Whatever william is being, handsome must always be included. For he is a damn handsome pig. He likes to remind sisyphus by saying things like 'I had a dream that we were in that movie face off and my face was on your body but it looked kind of bland because you lack my square jaw and all-round machissimo-tastic bone structure. Have you seen my polished surface?' also, william does not spend as long grooming as sisyphus. BECAUSE HE DOES NOT HAVE TO TRY. and by god he knows it, with his dirty little claws and hay in his teeth and handsome everything. He is a brave and handsome invalid, limping and looking up bravely when you come in the room because he may be sick and he may be sore, but dash it all, sweethearts, he's as handsome as the handsomest RAF pilot hollywood ever handsomified in a film about RAF pilots and chin up old chap there might be some carrot shavings around the corner. And wouldn't that serve the jerries right?

two good books...

read the new audrey niffenegger today, it was pretty good, then started Margo Lanagan's tender morsels. it is five hundred pages long and I had to stay up finishing it. this is the way I wish I could write but can't. prepare to have it forced upon you soon. xo